Boomerang..??

There was a time when I thought, being an atheist was the most rational choice. But, I don't know why, I chose to be agnostic. Having seen deaths within my first blood relatives at regular intervals, starting from my maternal grandma (when I was 12 yrs) to the most recent demise of paternal grandpa, each one has had a different impact on my life. Mom always used to say – "Whatever service you do to these people, we would receive it at one time or another". Even though I disagreed with her statement, I made sure I did my best, only because I considered it as my duty, attaching as less emotion as possible. There were deaths, where my eyes didn't even wet.


Two years ago, around midnight, as I was standing next to my grandfather's bed, he held my hand, and I saw the line straighten in the ECG display. I knew he was no more and I don't know what happened, my eyes suddenly filled, my heart started to beat faster. I had to put some effort to release my hand from my grandpa's fist. I came out of the ward. I, along with my uncle went to home after completing some formalities. My grand-mom was sitting on the chair – I didn't know if I had to go to her or not, but she was a strong lady; she called me and told – "Your work will not go waste, you did your best".


Today, as I stand in the balcony of my hostel room, with the background score of my roomie's snore, I realize the truthfulness of her words. At the time, when I should have been somewhere else, should have been doing better things, here I am, struck up for some formal learnings, at the cost of what life had to teach me. But nothing has stopped, things are happening the way it has to happen, with or without me. Isn't it a paradox that you are present for situations where you could have been optional, and you are not present where ideally you should have been compulsorily? But the show goes with/without me.


I think, this is what the two lady warriors (read mom n grand-mom) meant when they said I receive for what I have rendered. May be, someone else who was optional is fulfilling a compulsory role. Life is truly a boomerang....