Intense Passion in Hindsight

October 5 – Probably the day which most of us would not want to remember – the death of a magician called “Steve Jobs”. This is definitely not another obit. I was totally depressed the whole day, for the same reason, thinking of one of the two people whom I have admired.  The whole media was ushering the same news over n over again, making me all the more depressed. Oct 6^th was a holiday for Newspapers, thanks to “Ayudha Pooja” festival. On Oct 7^th, as I received the newspaper, I knew what the front page news was, but what I didn’t know was the article which came on the page 4. Now I needed this bit to pull me off my depression and provide some food for thought.

Steven.P.Jobs (1955 - 2011)

Yes – Mathoor Krishnamurthi, a Sanskrit scholar who probably did more than what life would have expected him to do. If my grandfather would have been alive, he would have definitely been depressed; probably more than what I was for Jobs. I remember seeing his programs explaining the essence of Bhagavat Gita, every morning in a Kannada channel.

This must be a story around a few years ago (might be during engineering; though not sure) – when I used stay at my granny’s place if I was late from college or was just lazy to drive back home. I used to sleep in the hall watching TV. At around 6:30am, my grandfather used to come down and switch on the T.V for this program, where Mathoor Krishnamurthi used to explain verses of Gita. I used to get irritated initially; but what caught my attention was – this person had tears in his eyes whenever he was explaining few intense lines of Gita. I am generally not awed at people without testing them thoroughly (that’s probably one reason, I have had only 2 persons whom I admired intensely); but frankly this person had absolutely no reason to create a drama of crying on-screen, when his audience were few (imagine at 6:30 am – should be only grandparents like mine); had established credibility in the subject; TRP is out of question totally. Now this is what comes closest to intense passion – quality which Steve also exhibited. I could see truth in Mathoor’s eyes – it was just drops of true tears n not buckets of glycerine. I later asked my grandparents about his credibility and stuff, and he turned out to be absolutely spectacular – His life was a worthy one.

Mathoor Krishnamurthi

Now there was Jobs who was an excellent marketer, who had amazing negotiation skills, probably the best the world has ever seen; and here was Krishnamurthi, who grew from strength to strength in this life, but later dedicated himself for spreading the essence of our culture across the world, effectively he marketed our culture, spread the knowledge to alleviate poverty, made Sanskrit an attractive form of poetry.

Offcourse, this news would have died under the Job’s one. Nevertheless, here is a hats-off to the person who proved that you don’t need to be a multi-millionaire to show off what you have achieved – you can just prove to yourself that you are worth the space which you are consuming on this earth – How many of us are really worth...??? Think about it...

P.S. Do read Sudha Murthy’s comments here...

Boomerang..??

There was a time when I thought, being an atheist was the most rational choice. But, I don't know why, I chose to be agnostic. Having seen deaths within my first blood relatives at regular intervals, starting from my maternal grandma (when I was 12 yrs) to the most recent demise of paternal grandpa, each one has had a different impact on my life. Mom always used to say – "Whatever service you do to these people, we would receive it at one time or another". Even though I disagreed with her statement, I made sure I did my best, only because I considered it as my duty, attaching as less emotion as possible. There were deaths, where my eyes didn't even wet.


Two years ago, around midnight, as I was standing next to my grandfather's bed, he held my hand, and I saw the line straighten in the ECG display. I knew he was no more and I don't know what happened, my eyes suddenly filled, my heart started to beat faster. I had to put some effort to release my hand from my grandpa's fist. I came out of the ward. I, along with my uncle went to home after completing some formalities. My grand-mom was sitting on the chair – I didn't know if I had to go to her or not, but she was a strong lady; she called me and told – "Your work will not go waste, you did your best".


Today, as I stand in the balcony of my hostel room, with the background score of my roomie's snore, I realize the truthfulness of her words. At the time, when I should have been somewhere else, should have been doing better things, here I am, struck up for some formal learnings, at the cost of what life had to teach me. But nothing has stopped, things are happening the way it has to happen, with or without me. Isn't it a paradox that you are present for situations where you could have been optional, and you are not present where ideally you should have been compulsorily? But the show goes with/without me.


I think, this is what the two lady warriors (read mom n grand-mom) meant when they said I receive for what I have rendered. May be, someone else who was optional is fulfilling a compulsory role. Life is truly a boomerang....